Somewhere a Triangle in a Square

this is my third attempt at learning.

jesus, its not hard. All the information is right there, that's the way it is. What's wrong with you?

my mind just...goes away.
It's not like i am thinking about anything
more important
or more interesting
its just that where it goes
i follow.

i become this little pudgy baby
sitting on my bottom in the green grass
sucking my thumb and watching it
flutter overhead like a pretty butterfly.
weee, pretty butterfly.

see, you see that don't you?

and after 20 40 60 years of those pictures
i snap out of it and realize
what's wrong with you?
you're supposed to be here...

with this book in your lap
that you're supposed to finish
and think about in that critical manner,
but i dont ever get that far
before i start thinking in that useless manner.

how about a baby in my lap
looking up at ME
squat and saying
"Yo Ma, what the fuck?"
but by that time
the baby is blue.

think of trainspotting.
see, you see that too don't you?

forget the needles. just give me three words, half a page
a window. a floor.
the man that keeps walking back and forth.
a map of the piano and little B.
the things that come out of a center of a tree.
back and forth split screen lives interacts.

i had a girl last year
and i told her, coming the closest i could
that it makes me cry to think
no one is ever going to see this but me.

she ended up yelling at me.

unfortunately it seems
its not the way it is.