go ahead, pick ten cards

any ten cards
...

You're not happy.
You're good at pretending that everything in your life is good and you give off a great sense of security and self confidence, but you're not satisfied.
You dont know yourself well. You're restless, unsettled. You're a great pretender.

You like to give the impression that you're happy to be by yourself but in reality, you're mortified that your relationships failed and you believe that its your fault that they failed
and it may be so.
Regret in that area has caused you a great deal of pain.

You dont have many lifelong friends. The friends you have you made while you were with someone else and you weren't close to them; they were mostly your lover's or your other friends friends.
Some of them wanted to be close to you, but they thought you were inaccessible or that you were aloof.

You're very secretive.
And you dont trust easily.
And when you do let someone in, you regret it or resent them.

I think that you feel sooner or later everyone is a disappointment.

You can be assertive and hands on, especially in a crisis, but i think you live in constant fear of tragedy.
You're very very afraid of change.

You've met a man? That you're very taken with?
Maybe you're even obsessed with him.
But i dont think he's affectionate. And he's not someone that you can get to know intimately and you should be careful about misunderstandings because you have a tendency to become quickly infatuated and then you get embarrassed or depressed because things didn't turn out the way you expected them to.

You're a daydreamer.
And you should be careful because you definitely have a tendency to set yourself up for falls.

...
you should let me know if we're moving in the right direction. its possible that we could take a wrong turn and get lost,
especially since its our first time.