sand under pressure

"I put so much pressure on myself i can't even write my name sometimes."

I crave an adventure. It's not death i fear, it's feeling dead while still alive. My map and pictures of australia face my eyes every morning. Maybe it's the missing it that makes me feel as though i've missed out, done it wrong again. That the experience only settled on my surface and i blew it away when i decided to hold the sand too tight. Sometime soon the pressure will whisper instead that we have so much work to do.

As a reminder, a present to myself, and a reunion, i'll be transcribing the group journal from NOLS AAU3/21/04, credit of the dinky-dis (the real thing).

3/24/04
"DAY UNO"
Word of the Day: Bonzer - "great" "ripper"

Today we began the canoeing all had been anticipating for the last week. We awoke late feeling well rested and excited. The river is amazing and to my surprise extraordinarily clean. I have never seen trees sprouting out of the water before and here on the Drysdale there are trees and long grass emerging everywhere.
After an early breakfast we went for a swim followed by sliding over a stick like a bunch of whales. Karen provided some humor by flailing around as she demonstrated a defensive swimming maneuver. After swimming we experimented in the canoes by flipping over and just having lots of fun in general.
After a hearty lunch of tortillas, potato cheese soup and some brown sugar pasta courtesy of Marshall and his thirst for intense flavors, we continued to learn more about canoeing on shore before testing our new found skills on the river. We quickly learned that paddling on the shore and in our minds was far easier than in real life. As we practiced gaining control of our watercraft, Steph and Lauren decided to go for a little adventure down the river as the current carried them along. After a couple of runs through a tree obsticle course we called it a day and relaxed a bit before dinner.
No one was too hungry but afterr our various meals were cooked they mysteriously dissapeared within a couple of minutes. While we chose our menus Tyler, a member of Marshall's group, asked only that brown sugar not be included in whatever was made.
As the sun set hundreds of fruit bats flew overhead hopefully devouring the mosquitos that have been bothering us every waking moment. After dinner we gathered around candlelight and played a game of two truths and one lie, learning some things about each other. When i get back to the states I know where i can get some gas pumped, some lumber, or where i can go if i ever need a bull castrated.
We ended the long incredible day by starring up at the brilliant stars. I am so happy to be out here and it is so peaceful and wonderful and awesome to be self sufficient. I think i speak for everyone in saying that today was a real bonzer.

-Graham-


I remember learning how to put my gaiters on. I remember realizing how hard it was to steer that boat. I remember cole and i getting personal from behind 2 sheets of mozzie netting. I remember touching down in that 10 seater plane after picking out cascades between deep cut green covered rock from the clouds. I cant remember where that potato soup came from. I remember shitty tarp assemblages. Athough i dont recall, i dont doubt for a moment that Marshall put brown sugar on pasta. I remember log rolling (feet down river unless you're able to roll over, get on your stomach). I remember the rain delay from camp before the plane and asking Graham (Neilson) what an eddie was. I remember realizing how much i was going to learn. I can still feel those god damn PFDs. I remember those stars and i remember that game but other than the bull i dont know what the hell that gas and lumber is about. I remember Graham not being excited about writing the first journal entry but he volunteered to get it out of the way. i remember that space we camped in. I remember stading around and watching other groups from a distance, watching them in threes and fours do the same things in 12 different ways.

I also remember Brad, that jumped-up bastard from the Crocs that stole our journal and got it all wet so the pages fell out and out of order. I say this cuz this is the second entry in the book, not the first.

little words pack a big punch
take responsibility for yourself
take responsibility for your own learning
risk saying what you think
own what you say
if it needs doing, do it
if you dont understand, ask
enjoy your surroundings
maintain a sense of humour
help others learn and succeed
be kind
push yourself
admit your mistakes
if it is not safe for the group, dont do it
participate and observe
learn from your experiences