ron white, ive learned a lot tonight

there are a lot of things i want to talk about and im very tired, so ill start with the things from the cellar and move on to others more dificil as the level of my vodka diminishes.

a table of seven guys came in tonight to have drinks. They were very nice and after a few, asked me if there were any bars that have special events on sundays. they were from out of town and "swimmers" which i immediately freaked out about. they explained to me that they weren't exactly swimmers with an uneasy hesitation. I found out that they are in oxford to try out for the national underwater hockey league. I once again freaked out. I sat next to a guy on my trans pacific flight to australia who was traveling to sydney for an underwater hockey tourney. Ever since, ive never really known how it worked because i was so flighted out and nervous that i never asked the dude. These gentlemen took the time to explain it to me.
Flat bottomed pool. Participants wear fins and snorkel equipment. Weighted hockey puck and colored "hockey sticks" (to designate fellow team members) about 1.5 feet long. Rules are the same as in hockey...i think. actually, i have no idea, that didnt come up, im just assuming. And thats it. The one dude had on a tank top with a picture of a guy in a suit spread eagle underwater. The words read "Underwater Hockey...a spectator sport!" They do, by the by, have spectators...and a spectator booth...all underwater.
The thoughts were abound after i talked with these guys, but i can't get into it now. Just think about being submerged underwater...everyday. in class. smoking a smoke? eating broccoli. wow.
Also by the by, miami is wishing to create an underwater hockey team. if you're reading, you're a miamian and you're interested e-mail this guy @...ok, i now cannot find his name. ill get back to you on that one.
as they were closing out their check, i actually sat down to listen to a story after the gentleman on the end (1/2 dink dunkle, 1/2 erdinger) told me to "put in an ear" which is the greatest turn of phrase i have heard in a long time. (All, with the exception of 2 men, were from California:) ) Anyway, the story was pretty good, but the bigger point was that the kid who told it was a PHENOMENAL story teller. Which brings me to my next...story.

Brian is a doorman. If you ever go in, call him by name, say hello. He's stocky medium build, a good set of shoulders and a strong back. He has a very structured face and long dark hair that he wears in a ponytail with a second ponytail holder in the middle of the tail. Brian, is a fantastic story teller.
I warmed up to him after he started telling Ashley, Kristi and myself a story about a snowboarding accident. I picked up on the part where he said he listens to Crystal Method while boarding so he can feel bad ass and pretend he has his own theme song and video game on sega, so i asked him, since we appeared to have similar taste, if he had any other artists to offer me. He did, would you like to hear them? Ok, good.

Apollo 440
My Life with the Thrill Kill Kult
AK 1200
Aphrodite
Rollergurl (WHICH i put down because i've been listening to her since my soph year of HS AND i listened to her last night before i went out AND i find, from brian, that she's local cinci. how fucking cool is that)
Digital Psychosis (also local)
Front 242

he's smart. he's mad smart. he's the kinda person you meet and immediately think, this child has a photographic memory. he's also a bit of an idiot savant, i say, because he also has very heartwarming moments of intense ADD.
i ask him if he dl's music. he says no. immediately i feel bad. i have little morals i have discovered. he explains to me that dling music for free is just bad, the artist or the people that the artist must pay see nothing. thats not cool. But then we get into a conversation about paying for dl's...such as itune's music store. This is where savant shines.
He takes a guest check (the thing i take orders on) and starts writing and talking.
Disc
Case
Cover Art
Rec Studio
Factory (to make cover art)
Press (to print art)
Wholesaler
Retailer
Corporate
Royalties
he says, it costs approx 15$ to buy a cd. Itunes wishes that you pay 1$/song. He finds that this price is a little high. Why? Lets look at that list again.
If you are DLing a song, then your list looks a little more like this:



Rec Studio

Corporate
Royalties

You buy your own disc and case. You dont get the cover art with the song, and even if you did, you print it out on your own PC which means that you can eliminate the factory and press. The wholesaler is gone, the retailer is gone. Corporate peeps are apple people and royalties, i think i understood this correctly is money that actually goes to the artist. So then he breaks it down like this:
you buy a cd with approx 15 songs for 15$. iTunes charges 1$ a song, which on the surface, makes sense. (not to interupt the flow, but i have missing links on my guest check of notes here, so i may be making this last part up...feel free to comment with corrections if you understand this and you understand it differently.)
.05$ = cost to produce single songs in rec studio
.25$ = money owned to corporate (apple for hosting song)
.10$ = royalties (money to artist)
-------
.40$/song
which to brian, and now to myself, is a happy medium. Pirating music is obviously a big deal, legally and morally and dude, artists should be making money for their living. But apple is kinda exploiting the less stigmatic way of DLing. This would be a more reasonable price/song.
He said this as well, which i liked, because thinking of things on the extreme scale shakes you a little more.
Brttiney Spears releases a new album in Hong Kong or Russia or somewhere on the other side of the world in an eastern time zone and some dude or duddet buys this album. He/she brings it home to their PC which just so happens to be hooked up to a fantastic server. They DL to their PC, upload it to the internet and share it among other fantastic servers. Now its out and EVERYONE is DLing Brittany Spears' brand new album @ 7-12 MB/sec. What does this mean? It means that within 24 hours, the entire world will have a copy of Brittany Spears' new album. What does this really mean? She sold exactly ONE copy and made .10$. 10 cents. Granted i'm all for miss slut ass to be put out of business, but substitute your favorite artist and you're shot in the heart.
His bigger passion was to have iTunes create a monthly fee for customers, allowing them to have access to anything they want for say, 20$/month, kinda like you would do at a video store. I thought this was a fantastic idea. People love to feel that sense of freedom. They put the money down in the beginning and forget about it....set it and forget it. It's kinda like paying your rent and not having to worry about it for the next 30 days. He worked it out to 240$/year and ending up with 18 new fantastic discs spinning in your boom box and car stereos.
You know the scene in office space where Peter has a meeting with the Bobs and he says....
"It's a problem of motivation, all right? Now if I work my ass off and Initech ships a few extra units, I don't see another dime, so where's the motivation?"
that's the problem here. we have to motivate people to stop stealing music. Computer people know how to get around the system. They will always find a way to not get caught. Its the happy medium. Its the give a little, get a lot more, and at the same time, feel good about doing the right thing. Everyone wins. Yea!

I told him that he should write a letter to apple. They are looking for suggestions. Jesus, they PAY people to make these kinda suggestions. Maybe I'll do it myself. Actually, i think i will. Actually, i will. I will.

The other thoughts of the evening are far less positive and not put together AT ALL at the present time. I'll leave you to comment (please?) about the problems of the suggested so i can clean up the presentation before its shipped off to apple.com.

oh, btw, Ron White. Comedian. Hilarious. (His title routine...Brian recited the entire thing to me at the bar...like i said, savant). I laughed belly, cant catch my breath style and thought, riding the comedown, there's a particular someone that i would really enjoy watching Mr. White with.

goodnite and good luck :)